Excerpt: There is this idea that male sexuality is different, simpler than female sexuality. It’s just a button to push.Thoughts?
David S: I used to run a workshop on male sexuality for women. One of the most common things that women would ask is, “So I’m with this guy, we have amazing sex and then in the morning, he is like gone.” I think guys think they are just gonna have a fun time. Because sex is as powerful as it is, sometimes a big door opens up inside you. Suddenly, your emotional guts are all over the table. Sex, touch, it is powerful in that way. Suddenly, you are dealing with the fact that you never got touched as a child, suddenly you are dealing with the time something happened and you were embarrassed. Suddenly, all sorts of larger issues, even existential ones leap up, and there you are in the middle of them.
I think women are more prepared for this, less frightened. For some guys, in this deeply intimate exposed place with a person they hardly know, they wake up in the morning and start putting a wall up, really fast. One of the sad things about sex, particularly for men, is that the culture shoves a version of sex down your throat that is just a poor, pale version of what is really possible.
“There is a story that Samuel Beckett was walking through the park with a friend, and exclaiming at the beauty of the day. “Yes,” said the friend, “it’s the sort of day that makes you feel good to be alive.” “Ah, now,” Beckett replied, “I wouldn’t go that far.” But most of us, most of the time, would go that far.”—Consciousness: The Great Illusion? (via mkngyn)
“Guilt is not a response to anger; it is a response to one’s own actions or lack of action. If it leads to change then it can be useful, since it is then no longer guilt but the beginning of knowledge. Yet all too often, guilt is just another name for impotence, for defensiveness destructive of communication; it becomes a device to protect ignorance and the continuation of things the way they are, the ultimate protection for changelessness.”—Audre Lorde (via fistwavingfeminism)
“I was telling you earlier about the three elements in my morals. They are (1) the refusal to accept as self-evident the things that are proposed to us; (2) the need to analyze and to know, since we can accomplish nothing without reflection and understanding, thus, the principle of curiosity; and (3) the principle of innovation: to seek out in our reflection those things that have never been thought or imagined. Thus: refusal, curiosity, innovation.”—Michel Foucault (Power, Moral Values, and the Intellectual, An Interview with Michel Foucault by Michael Bess, History of the Present 4)
“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”—Henri J.M. Nouwen (via psychotherapy)
“To remain vibrant throughout a lifetime we must always be inventing ourselves, weaving new themes into our life-narratives, remembering our past, re-visioning our future, reauthorizing the myth by which we live.”—Sam Keen & Anne Valley-Fox, 1989
Shared Psychotic Disorder, also referred to as Shared Paranoid Disorder or Folie à deux (The Folie of Two) was first described by Lasegue and Falert in 1877. It is characterized by the transferring of delusions - chronic illness - from one person to another. More specifically, a person (the primary case) who has a psychotic disorder “transfers” and shares the disorder with a second person (the secondary case). Usually, the “primary” case, i.e., the person who first develops psychotic symptoms, can be distinguished from one or more “secondary” cases, in whom the symptoms are induced. It is most common within relationships, whether it be family members or spouse. The psychotic disorder can range from Delusional Disorder, psychotic Major Depression to Schitzophrenia. It should be noted that delusion develops in context of close relationships, and this delusion is similar to that of the person with established delusion. Both members typically live together and are socially isolated from the outside world.
- I chose this for my final project this semester, just because it’s quite possibly the most romantic psychological disorder ever.